Most of us have a harsh voice inside our heads that chastises us when we “make mistakes.” It is quick to judge us, often calling us names. “That was stupid!” The power this voice has over us increases our anxiety. In this era of mindfulness, we yearn for inner peace. We are aware that the more inner peace we attain, the more peace there will be in the world. Despite this awareness, we allow our critical inner voice to remain unchecked.

We have greater awareness today of the harmful effects of teasing and bullying, but there is one area of our lives where it remains unchecked: within ourselves. Even the most sensitive and compassionate among us, who would never intentionally hurt another, do not think twice about mercilessly berating themselves. Let us to examine this accepted practice.

Leta Hollingworth, the founder of gifted education, developed a program of emotional education for the gifted. She noted that exceptionally gifted children tend to be exceptionally honest, and that their honesty often gets them into trouble. Leta felt that learning when not to tell the truth is as important a skill for the gifted to learn as any school subject. This was part of her emotional curriculum.

Socialization means adapting to the needs of the group, whereas social development indicates positive self-concept and concern for the welfare of others.  The former may result in alienation from one’s inner self, while the latter leads to self-actualization. Gifted children have positive social development when they are respected in their families; when their parents value the inherent worth of all human beings; when they find true peers of similar ability at an early age; and when they interact with the mainstream after they have developed a strong sense of their own acceptability.