How Do You Feel About Your Own Giftedness?
By Jennifer Cooper, MS, CCC-SLP and LPCC
While school systems may offer resources and services for the identification and support of gifted children, the idea of “giftedness” seems to evaporate in adulthood. Adults who were identified as gifted in childhood tend to wave off this aspect of their life as a fun class they attended in grade school. This, combined with the misconception that giftedness simply means that one is “good at school,” creates a dearth of understanding regarding the unique challenges and joys experienced by gifted adults.
It is not unusual for an adult to dismiss the “gifted” label as an irrelevant chapter from childhood. However, giftedness endures throughout the lifespan and creates an altogether different lens through which life is experienced. Understanding characteristics of giftedness and identifying them in oneself is empowering. It allows gifted adults to navigate the world with knowledge of their unique strengths, characteristics, and potential, as well as bring compassion and kindness to their challenges and limitations.
Like driving across the country without a map (or smartphone), moving through the world without a working understanding of oneself can feel baffling and even lead to despair.
Characteristics such as emotional intensity, intellectual creativity, keen perceptiveness, and a deep desire for justice can be misidentified by the gifted adult as being “too sensitive” or “perfectionistic.” These attributes can lead to masking in relationships and the workplace, and can negatively impact one’s understanding of themselves. Gifted and twice exceptional adults may feel misunderstood by peers, regard themselves as broken, and wonder why they care so much when those around them do not seem bothered at all.
For these reasons, (re)discovering aspects of your giftedness in adulthood may feel like a long-awaited homecoming. You begin to catch glimpses of the beauty and goodness of your drives and intensities that were previously criticized (by yourself or others). You might even begin to look in the rear-view mirror of your life and see the vitality you have always possessed, understand ways in which you have been missed, and consider opportunities that were lost. Grief may surface. “If only I had understood this about myself at the time.” However, this homecoming also brings freedom, a greater understanding of self, an invitation to further define one’s purpose, and an opportunity to foster meaningful connections. Giftedness extends beyond childhood and the classroom, and gifted adults may benefit from specific resources, support, and community as they process the impact of giftedness in their lives.
Jennifer Cooper, MS, CCC-SLP and LPCC. As a speech pathologist, she has worked with adults, children, and families providing diagnostics and treatment. As a counselor, Jennifer has training in Internal Family Systems, Narrative-Focused Trauma Care, The Gottman Method, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Mother to three adolescents who are gifted, she has a front row seat to the joys and challenges of giftedness. With Jacob Schott, Jennifer conducted 2 Counseling Groups for Gifted Adults in the last year at Gifted Development Center.
