Gifted Children Through the Eyes of Their Parents

Research Summary

Linda Silverman

Last year, in response to our survey, we received requests for research on giftedness. I will be offering brief research updates periodically in our newsletter. In this issue, I am summarizing a recent article from a group of Italian researchers on themes they found in interviews with parents of gifted children. Welcome to our families from Italy!

Most researchers study parents’ role in the development of talent “emphasizing how parents can support gifted children in achieving academic success” (p. 3). This is a utilitarian view of parenting, rather than shedding light on parents’ experience in raising gifted children. 

“Few scholars have investigated parents’ understanding of their gifted children’s singularity and the challenges they have to deal with in parenting practices” (p. 3). The few studies that probed the experience of parents found that gifted children tend to come from child-centered families.

Parents of the gifted find themselves dealing with the overwhelming urgency of their children’s demands, including high levels of emotional intensity. … These parents may feel unsupported and experience a marked sense of loneliness. … They may feel misunderstood even by friends and family members. The profound differences between the gifted child and the same age non-gifted peers may also cause parents to experience feelings of guilt and shame. There is a specific need for counselling programs for families of gifted children, but this is still an under-explored area that needs to be implemented. (pp. 3-4)

To understand parents’ views, Dr. Roberta Renati from the University of Cagliari in Italy and her colleagues devised a mixed method study, combining quantitative and qualitative methods. Parents completed open-ended questionnaires to gain information about the child’s health and developmental milestones, as well as the parents’ challenges. Then in-depth 1 ½ hour interviews were conducted. The researchers collected quantitative data with the WISC-IV. Results matched the WISC-IV profiles of gifted children in the United States (Silverman, 2018). 

One significant finding was food sensitivities, which were present in half of the children in the sample at all levels of giftedness and at all ages. These children tended to eat only certain foods and had difficulties with particular textures. Language precocity characterized most of the gifted children in their sample. “Traits such as speed of learning, advanced verbal skills, sharp memory, intense curiosity, uncommon interests for their age, and observational skills emerged” for the entire sample (p. 13). “Creativity is mentioned by all parents and seems to be a distinctive trait of gifted children” (p. 9).  Similar to gifted children in the U.S., gifted children’s verbal abilities developed at a much faster pace than their motor abilities. Families described their children as having “underdeveloped” physical ability and lacking interest in sports (p. 10). 

Parents of preschoolers identified early verbal skills, reading and writing ability, learning speed, excellent memory, curiosity and specialized interests. In addition, parents of 6- and 7-year-olds mentioned keen logical reasoning skills, math skills, strong attention, and above-age-level interests. In 5-7 year olds, parents indicated the presence of high emotional sensitivity. In children 8 and older, empathy was highlighted in addition to sensitivity; they were also described as having a strong sense of humor. Parents described emotional regulation difficulties in children when confronted with obstacles and setbacks. “Parents describe the emergence of a deep sense of justice that can be a stressor” (p. 11). A ten-year-old child was described as follows:

He lives and sometimes manifests emotions in a very intense way. The suffering of others is his suffering. He suffers from “world hunger”, which he would like to eradicate when he grows up. If he sees a needy person, he feels guilty about their suffering. His reactions are often instinctive, and he adapts with difficulty to frustrations. He does not like the unexpected. (p. 11)

The central challenge of raising gifted preschoolers related to “managing emotional intensity, especially when the child is struggling with frustration” (p. 11). Some parents expressed “difficulty comprehending their child’s unique characteristics” (p. 11). Dealing with the unique issues of their gifted children required parents to adopt specific strategies. Parents of younger children reported the necessity of listening to the child’s needs and offering emotional support. “Dialogue, detailed and consistent explanations, also supported by readings, and negotiation” were the most frequently adopted strategies for this age group (p. 11). Emotional availability and open dialogue, complemented with advocacy intervention, were mentioned frequently for all age groups.

School was a “significant source of stress both for them and the child” (p. 12). They had concerns about “children’s building relationships with peers because of their different interests” (p. 12). These concerns increased with age. Parents of preadolescents reported “their children’s feelings of low self-esteem and social isolation” (p. 12).

Some parents sought advice from mental health professionals, but it was necessary for them to find clinicians who understood giftedness.

Specific traits, such as intensity, sensitivity, and perfectionism, can be seen as dysfunctional by a professional not trained in working with gifted children, also leading to the risk of misdiagnosis. Parents need counselling because they require support in dealing with unique issues such as heightened intensity, perfectionism, or problems establishing social relationships with peers. (p. 14) 

The authors conclude:

If we consider the family as a complex system, the special needs of the gifted child can be a unique source of stress for parents and siblings especially when asynchronous development is substantial. Therefore, parenting practices are crucial issues to explore in the gifted field, where research on parenting is lacking. (p. 14)

We hope our new families from Italy enjoy the summary of this excellent study in Italy. I believe this research has international implications. The findings match very closely our nearly 46 years of experience studying 6600 gifted children at Gifted Development Center. We have the data to replicate significant elements of the study at GDC. We only need to add interviews. We encourage researchers and graduate students to explore our database to provide more information about gifted children to support parents of the gifted.

References

Renati, R., Bonfiglio, N. S., Dilda, M., Mascia, M. L., & Penna, M. P. (2023). Gifted children through the eyes of their parents: Talents, social-emotional challenges, and educational strategies from preschool through middle school. Children, 10, 42. https://doi.org/10.3390/children10010042 

Silverman, L. K. (2018). Assessment of giftedness. In S. I. Pfeiffer (Ed.), Handbook of Giftedness in Children (2nd ed., pp. 183-207). Springer International. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-77004-8_12